And if she doesn't come, well, you were planning to go there anyways so it's not a real loss on your part - you just spent an afternoon/evening doing something you already enjoy. Anyway. She could always change her answer or answer in a positive way to give you more information. When I was backpacking through europe as a solo woman traveler back at the age of 22, I never had an issue myself, but I encountered, in youth hostels, several men who had been mugged/robbed/etc., including one guy who had actually gone out drinking with locals and woke up the next morning in the hospital to discover that he had been drugged and all of his documentation and money was gone. Its pretty much a lose/lose situation all around. - This subreddit is **gender neutral**. Thanks for the advice and encouragement Erin! And Says shes tired? I couldnt agree more. The guys I know that routinely hit on female retail/service workers do it in the blink of an eye the second they see a pretty face. And as long as you are willing to hear them say no (and you are not a crazy person) then there is not a lot to lose. Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for people looking to improve their interpersonal communication skills. A: After your date, maintain good posture by being respectful and honest with your words as well as your actions. however, my friend (who works in retail) asked out a barista who she had a crush on. NC for a month already, I dont think shes coming back. To be successful in this I agree with everything you said. Meeting someone at a party (or going to a movie, while were on the topic) are not especially good first dates when youre attempting to get to know someone better. It was my first job ever, I worked part time for a store that primarily sold video games and video game accessories. Oh, sure. One of the firemen involved found one of my coworkers to be attractive. Look the cashier in the eyes when talking and stand up straight as you chat. What do you think a cool and respectful way to ask her out is? I think you should go for it, but Im optimistic like that. Unless hes specifically told you about these things, you dont know whats going on in the background for him, and what it might raise. What differentiates living as mere roommates from living in a marriage-like relationship? Unless hes asexual or asking her out for pointedly platonic motivations with zero thought to the possibility of a romantic or sexual relationship ever developing, its basically the same thing. Its like, Im working. interviewing with a service dog in my lap, boss thinks Im a stonerbecauseI called out on 4/20, and more, I desperately need breaks between my back-to-back meetings, I manage a gay employee and our company is homophobic, a coworker told me I talk too much, Im still ruminating over a job I didnt take, and more, should I invite my team to my home for dinner, will my company expect me to work with my ex, and more, after I hired someone, a mutual friend told me Id made a huge mistake. Shed been going to the coffee shop for several months, and he was really friendly every time they talked, complimenting her on safe topics like her manicure, etc. Now, Im 100% sure this guy would have been an awesome date, and there was nothing threatening or creepy about his approach in fact, if I had any glimmer of interest in men in general, I probably would have taken him up on it. Browse other questions tagged, Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Discuss the workings and policies of this site. A: Be direct and sincere when asking the cashier out. I got the message. Then wait a couple of weeks before returning and never mentioning it again if you dont hear back. That fact can confuse the romantic, so special handling is required. Youre not. Can you help me? Im married, so I definitely wasnt going to ask out the cute liquor store employee who likes the same kind of beer I like anyway. Youd be surprised by how many people do misinterpret friendliness for genuine interest. I work at Barnes and Noble, and I am shocked at how often I get hit on/asked out. He was removed from my class after that, thankfully (although it took awhile because I didnt report it to my bosses until after the class had ended and then he didnt come back for a couple weeks, and I was definitely nervous about him returning and nervous again when he showed up and I had to say, Boss wanted to see you), and one of my bosses came around and did a brief talk to all the classes without naming any names basically saying, People, dont ask out your teachers. Which was really the best boss reaction I could have asked for, but still, ugh. We made plans to go to a local haunted house together in a couple of weeks, but a conversation in the meantime put the brakes on that. Thanks very much for your thoughtful comment. And man did that sting. This will make things even more uncomfortable/annoying for the employee and might even cause her to face a reprimand at work if her employer doesn't fully understand what happened. I was in my 20s and it was my last day at my summer job, so I wouldnt have seen him again, at least not for an entire school year, provided hed still be doing retail the following year. Hitting on people who depend on you for tips is low. I worked retail all through college and I never really had anyone ask me out (apparently Im the exception based on these comments?) As an anecdote, we recently had an emergency drill that involved several different departments at my place of employment. And the people who are psychic: youre misunderstanding their friendly customer service smile as interest. Should I leave a note in case it's busy at her line? However, I would go about this very, very carefully and only do it if you are more than reasonably sure that he feels the same way. When the drill was over and he returned to his station, he asked his supervisor for help in reaching out to my coworker. Plenty of wise advice already. He has enjoyed a long career at the top of his field, appearing in acclaimed films, shows and advertisements. Oh gosh students. This is so uncomfortable to me. This doesn't require breaking any of these rules, but it requires finesse. Find out something An intelligent woman shouldnt have a problem meeting a prescreened stranger in a public place without having to take friends a family on the date. Thanks gsa, Im actually not really comfortable asking someone out, and then there is the whole customer/employee dynamic, but it sounds like Im going to have to be the one to make a move so thanks for the reinforcement! Its this: Be very well dressed and be well groomed. I would assume that say, a Chipotle employee would probably feel way less pressure/expectation as part of the job to be friendly in the face of gross hitting on, because their wages arent as reliant on the customers decision to tip/not tip. She declined, and he drove by her as she was walking to the bus stop and rolled down his window and asked her again if she wanted a ride. Only he didnt stop asking me out. For a male, the odds are stacked against you. You can round file it if you like but Ill do as I please. Women arent delicate flowers and men, as a gender whole, arent big scary monsters. I also had people hang around the cash register after I had finished ringing them up try to continue to talk to me. Is "I didn't think it was serious" usually a good defence against "duty to rescue"? Too much overthinking going on here. He came and then asked me on a date afterward. Asking her 10 times more won't bring a better result. I think people are going a little overboard with the sexual objectification and harassment-type comments. Agreed. Im in the dont do it camp because if he says no, youll both feel awkward. Express low-key interest in seeing the person outside of work, give your card/number, and make it clear through your words and actions that you can happily take no for an answer. It is often used as an expression of joy which can be used to ask someone out in a fun way! Make an effort to get to know your crush in a non-work context before asking him out. but its great that you remained friendly. after coffee. I think the difference was that while he complimented me plenty, it was never about my appearance or anything physical. What would think if one of your employees asked out a customer? Cashier Interview Questions and Sample Answers | Indeed.com One thing. in advance, prepare a little note and state to her what you have stated to us. It is best to be direct and honest when asking someone out. And of course, a lot of people would prefer not to field come-ons while theyre working. It can be intimidating to ask someone out, especially if you dont feel confident in your own skin. https://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/mythcommunication-its-not-that-they-dont-understand-they-just-dont-like-the-answer/. I got hit on more in 6 or 8 months there than I have in the rest of my life put together. And if theres mutual chemistry, you can always get dinner/drinks/etc. I work in a library so I dont have any other environment to compare it to but there are students who do not understand boundaries and do not understand the difference between friendly customer service and flirting. Note I had never been to that shop before. A "yes" response would be very cool and and allow you to follow it up with a proposition like, "sometime this week at x coffee shop, is there a good time?". Its safer to assume, fairly or not, that they will react poorly and plan accordingly, especially when it could be your job on the linethey could complain about you to the manager or yell at you and even turn out to be a creepy stalker. Id have to look it up, but I think its actually prohibited at the gym I work at to ask out members. So whats the best way to ask ehr out or get her number while shes working? I mean the problem is that it happens way more often than you think. Additionally, try bringing up topics that have nothing do with romance; discussing something lighthearted may make things less intense and create a more relaxed atmosphere between both of you which could ultimately lead towards a positive outcome! It definitely impacts what might feel flattering versus intrusive when you come from a male context, where there isnt the automatic feeling of what do you want? Dont say, Sure sounds good! She's not interested. It was pure stare porn, and she flushed and sighed. I cant figure out a way to work cheese into this at all though, unfortunately :) I know what you mean about the manager thing: hes older and its one of those places where managers are expected to do everything that their employees do so I dont know if he is or not. LOL did you really think one person could eat that much corn?. Certainly, it can be that way, but to me, Id take being asked out as a form of flattery, even if I wasnt interested. Eurgh. You know, the douche who asks every cute girl out and thinks he's hot shit. Always remember that they are a person too, and be sure to treat them with the same respect you would give any other person. It sounds like hes just good at being a retail employee. After the date has ended, be sure to follow up with your date by sending them a text or calling them; this will show that you are interested and care about them. He told me that he had a girlfriend but they were on the rocks currently. But we're still not clear of the problem of putting her on the spot. Just let them do their jobs. Truly cringeworthy, I had to stop after 5 minutes. I'd advise against going straight to her with your phone number on a piece of paper without having some small talk before. It pays Because to answer the question, there are plenty of opportunities to meet people in the real world that dont rely on one person having to be nice to the other for the sake of their job. The cashier probably wouldnt know how to find him if he just stopped showing up. Ex: "I enjoy that they let you try lots of different wines from all around the world! Resin is a vital resource for Conan Exiles players wanting to expand their base and create unlocks. If you think hes interested, write your phone/text number down and as youre leaving, talk with him a bit, smile, give your number to him and say if you ever want to talk outside of work, call me or text me then leave. This is bad enough in public, but its a bit worse if youre being put in that situation at work. How do you approach a cashier to meet them? - Fluther Clearly your girlfriend didnt know you were doing it. That would be some might serious dating phobia to have that reaction from a casual reach out, hed be quite the outlier with that level of panic. 4 Remember customers' preferences. If theyre burning with desire, theyll run into you. Canadian of Polish descent travel to Poland with Canadian passport. Something that lets him know where youll be if he ever wanted to bump into you outside of a work environment. The employee feels panicked and caught between a rock and a hard place, like he may not be able to turn the customer down without pulling down the wrath of management, and what had been a friendly encounter now turns into a recurring nauseating anxiety. I would hate to tell you not to try, though. Long ago, when I was in college, I asked out a nice, cute guy who worked at a retail store I frequented. This is not a hook up sub Try to keep your same happy attitude towards her whatever the result. :( It would probably be best to not think about it any longer. I thought that died out years ago. ), This comment made me chuckle a little because I know that my husband (were he available) would never, ever pick up on this type of hint. Instead, in these situations, I've found something that works much better for both of you. By the way, having this sort of opening is a big reason boys start rock bands. Just because you would find it flattering doesnt mean the service worker feels the same. And then you never, ever speak of it again. As long as she's doing anything related to her job (which does involve commuting to and from her home) you leave her alone. The difference is that many* men will IGNORE those signals because what they want is more important to them than respecting the others wishes. If you know I was happy someone mentioned that. To subscribe to this RSS feed, copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader. This, in turn, is affected by how you look, how you smell, what you say, but for basic sexual pleasure - looks are everything. I think that is the difference. I also want to say DONT DO IT! As several others already have replied - it depends where you are and the (as yet) unknown chemistry between you and the cashier. Something like the Pareto Principle is definitely at play here 80% of creepy, inappropriate behavior comes from 20% of the population. Although, if i were you, i would have used that line (but that's me). ", If she expresses interest in the activity as well, tell her more about it so she can attend: "Yeah, it's really fun. If you get declined, however rudely, don't go complaining. I suggest you consider the following: Is she especially nice to you, or is that her normal behavior with many customers? My band is playing at the Speakeasy Thursday night, we're so excited.". To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers. Bookstore or coffee shop or any number of other public places in which neither of them is at work doing his or her job at the time of the encounter. So everything is possible but it has a lot to do with the interpersonal chemistry. Is part of the joke that theyre attempting to steal the line from John Carpenters movie _They Live_? At the time, it didnt seem safe to tell a random stranger my sexual orientation- especially when my co-workers didnt even know (long story, that..). An alternative which isnt great could be posting a craigslist missed connection and somehow very strongly hint about it next time you see him (or see him then post the missed connection). Obtaining it can be challenging, but with some guidance and dedication, you, Read More How To Ask A Cashier Out?Continue, Score a volley in FIFA 22 by pressing and holding the shoot button when receiving a coordinated pass near the goal. Whatever you do don't follow them after work into the parking lot. Don't make it awkward. I worked in a large grocery store chain that prides itself on premier customer service. Then she returned change in copper coins, one at a time, staring me in the eye. I have a fair number of female friends, and many (Id wager most) feel flattered when a man approaches them confidently and in a not-creepy or inappropriate way. If she does not react then forget it. The cashier will not be creeped out by this approach and can indicate her receptiveness in how she responds to this no-pressure overture. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Call me, you teapot vending minx side so even if you DO post something really innocuous, you still get painted with that really gross paintbrush. Aaron/Erins unite! These results are similar to where the pay gap stood in 2002, when If youd like to try that, heres my number; otherwise, Im happy just to encounter you as an awesome barista/whatever.. The problem? In my opinion, her attitude towards the dynamic of the relationship between you is critical to understanding the best way to proceed. If only 1% of the population are creeps and you have 200 people come into your store each day, that means that you need to deal with 2 creeps every single day. What should I follow, if two altimeters show different altitudes? Only guy Ive ever asked out! -he remembered her each time, knew and remembered details about her (where she worked, what her schedule was like, her name), etc. Personally, Ive never really liked turning people down in any setting, probably because of my conditioning as a woman in this society, and it just gets weirder and more awkward when Im in customer service/dont upset the customer mode, even if that customer is normal and not some creepazoid that rings every alarm bell of every female on staff. I understand the situation, and if you really want to know her and you think the signs look good, then I suggest go for it. I suggest you consider Instead of just insisting youre a dude and this is how YOU think, maybe try putting yourself in other peoples shoes? Every week, she would buy a bunch of corn and talk to him. Its incredibly uncomfortable to be hit on by a customer who you cant say what you feel to, and theres a really uncomfortably dynamic. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. When asking out a cashier, one should be aware that there is always a chance of rejection. You can guess empowered is too, but there's a third: ability. I once had a crush on a guy who worked in retail. Its not flattering, it makes me cringe. It would be fun to run into you there. No I haven't idk if I want her getting wind of my intentions instead of it seeming spontaneous. I have told him what it is like to be a woman in a customer service environment and he thinks I am exaggerating. Just as fraking capable of taking care of myself as any man ,thankyouverymuch. Awkwardness all round. That would be fun. This shouldn't stop you from being nice to the cashier, or the post/tax office girl. A simple compliment or two can go a long way in making a good impression on someone; let them know what drew you towards them in the first place! That's not inappropriate at all and could happen in a nice way without putting her in an uncomfortable position. I think as long as its very very casual (coffee date, maybe a museum) and said with a cheerful smile (and maybe a no pressure, I dont want to put you on the spot thrown in there) theres no real harm. From a quick skim of the comments, it seems like Im in the minority opinion here (Im a man myself), but two things: 1.
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